Call me textrovert!

So the trend of morphing two names to come up with a third one is one bad idea that just doesn't seem to go away. It started with Bennifer, Brangelina and Tomkat before moving on to our very own Abhiash and Saifeena. And just when everyone thought it was a trend confined to the world of celebrity, in late 2009, the fashion world unleashed its worst word combination since the failure of the Tankini in the 90's - the amalgamation of jeans and leggings - Jeggings. So popular have they become with the 'in' crowd and lazy-assed women who can't find the time to squeeze into a pair of skinnies that every major denim brand has included them in their collections. The sales of regular denim jeans has seen a dramatic fall with everyone swapping authentic style in favour of comfort. Conan O'Brien tried on a pair too and called them Meggings. Will this morphing insanity ever end? Or just keep going on like Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor's bromance? 

Starstuck

So what's the deal on celebrity endorsements? Take the IPL, for instance. There are more logos on the cricketers' jerseys than perverts on a Virar local. Watch any match, and you will probably see your favourite cricketer get more screen time on commercials than out there on the field. They're peddling everything from shaving creams and writing instruments to clothing and surrogate soda water. Doesn't matter if it's got nothing to do with the sport.


Some celebrity tie-ups are just misfits from the start - like Salman Khan and Dollar Vests. Seriously? The man's never covered his chest in his life. Or Abhishek Bachchan and Flying Machine jeans. With his legs, he'd be better suited for Kentucky Fried Chicken advertisements. Maybe his father can give him a Parker pen to sign the contract.


It's sad but true - there are very few models and fresh faces in advertising today. Blink and you'll miss them. But don't worry they'll probably land up in a Bollywood film, walk the red carpet and be signing new advertising contracts before you can say "Freida Pinto."

Slave to the Grind

So I've been in advertising for thirteen years now. A year at Ambience (Now Ambience Publicis), two years at Trikaya Grey (Now Grey Worldwide) and ten years at Alok Nanda and Company (Still going by the same name. Perhaps they'll make the big change when I leave - just like the others did.)

And what have I learned in all these years?

That working quickly on a project doesn't earn you praise, it only gets you more jobs that need to be done twice as fast.

That Art Directors need to be physically present at exotic locations for shoots while writers have to use their imagination and Google Earth to write creative brochure copy.

That a cold beer at lunch can do you more good than yoga at breakfast.

That a client doesn't care what you say or show in an ad as long as the logo is big.

That deadlines sound deadlier than they actually are.

That Powerpoint presentations really aren't powerful. And don't make a point either.

That brainstorming is just another word for 'A group of people staring at ceilings pretending to be deep in thought'.

Now all this immense knowledge has got me wondering: Is all the late night slaving and mental abuse in advertising worth it? How would I know? Ask someone who works after six.