Home is where the Poggenpohl is.

So every real estate developer these days is trying to entice buyers to live beyond their means. Promising them the sun, moon and stars, all from a private wooden deck of course. These buyers, who were earlier satisfied with a one BHK with 'partial' sea view - even if it meant standing on a chair to get to see a wave - are now lining up to get home loans because nothing less than a Philippe Starck tub will do for their wives to soak their cellulite in.

Private spa pools in every room, helipads and automated lighting are other big draws. Don't know why, especially in a country already famous for water shortages, excessive noise pollution and power cuts.

And then there's the clincher - Californian landscaping. It's something every new township boasts of, though no one is really quite sure what it really is, especially those living in California.

I'm sure it won't be long before you drive by a tiny fishing village and see little huts with wooden flooring, net curtains and Koliwada landscaping. But until then I'm just going to get back up on my chair and catch a calm, briny breeze before that chopper rolls in.