I Don't.

So I’m in my mid-thirties, unmarried and living on my own. And while I’m fine with my single status, it’s funny how everyone else around me seems to have a problem with it. My parents were first in line, but over the years have given up all hope of getting through to me, and at this point in time, would even be happy if I committed myself to living in with a dog

Then I have a bunch of friends who think I should stop my decadent ways, cut down on travelling at the drop of a hat and settle down to a life of marital bliss. Interestingly, they’re the married ones who just can’t bear to see me having so much fun without being answerable to anyone. I can get home whenever I like. I can eat without being nagged. I can watch whatever I like to watch on TV. I can eat leftovers straight out of the refrigerator. And most importantly, I can make calls to anyone without being interrogated like someone who just committed adultery.

Relatives, on the other hand, are always trying to pair me with someone’s daughter. They range from the bold and the balding to the rich and the breastless. I don’t see why they take it upon themselves to ensure I find a bride. I’m well capable of making my own decisions. Just like I’ve decided to steer clear from any of these strange proposal offers. The last thing I want is to sit at the Sea Lounge discussing my educational background and bank balance with a strange family over tepid coffee and overpriced bhel puri.

As of now, I’m very happy with my independence. I have no regrets about how I have lived my life so far. And if I do decide to get hitched in the future, I’ll be happier if it was because of love, and not the archaic pressures of modern-day society.

Ferry Worried

So I spent New Year’s Day in Alibag with a few close friends. Ready to return, post the delicious alcohol and endless food (or is it the other way around?), we were told that the catamaran seats were all sold out and we had to take the local ferry. Now unlike Shashi Tharoor, I have no qualms about travelling with my fellow locals. But I do have a problem with the sorry state of the jetties at both Alibag and the Gateway of India.

You see, over the last 20 years, the number of private pools in Alibag has jumped from ten to about two hundred and fifty. There’s more Balinese landscaping in Alibag than in all of Indonesia. And the traffic problems from Pedder Road have spilled out onto the Arabian Sea as powerboats are the new accessory for the well-heeled. After all, what’s the point of owning an Omega Seamaster if you don’t have a yacht to wear it with?  

Now sadly, over the last 20 years, as more Balinese homes were being built, the jetty has continued to fall apart like Djakarta. There are no safety measures at the jetty. To get on or off a boat, you need to leap across with your bags tightly wrapped around your arms and your shit firmly clenched between your butt cheeks. Then you have to repeat it as you may need to jump across two or more boats to reach the moss-covered pier with those same barnacles that gave Captain Haddock blisters.

The state of the pier is really despicable. And I wonder why the upscale residents of Alibag, with all their influence and wealth, can’t come up with a plan to build a safe jetty. If not for the local people, at least for the sake of their suede Gucci loafers.