Sunday, February 21, 2010

Up in the Air

So there used to be a time when air travel was fun. When checking-in was a breeze, luggage did not have to be shrink-wrapped and air hostesses could smile at passengers because botox wasn't popular yet.

Cathay Pacific promised that you would 'Arrive in Better Shape'. Now they aren't even sure if you will arrive. I think airport security should adopt the Cathay slogan. After all, who wants to see an unflattering body scan of themselves right before boarding a plane to go to that two-week culinary tour of France?

Airline staff used to pride themselves on service. Now they just treat everyone as terror suspects.

You get plastic cutlery to thwart the urge of stabbing your snoring co-passenger in the guts while you try to sleep through reruns of 'The Apprentice' and 'Have You Been Served?'.

Airport Security is alerted should you ask for more than two drinks on a long haul flight.

Waiting outside the toilet for more than five minutes is cause for alarm. And if you have a beard, it could even be reason to make an emergency landing.

Air travel has really lost its charm.

Airplanes are only getting bigger because all the air hostesses are. You land at your destination smelling like a piece of Roquefort because you can't carry your toiletries on board. And ticket prices are getting more expensive, but you still get the same warm beer in a plastic cup, salted peanuts and a wailing baby two rows away from you.

No comments:

Post a Comment